Posted by: angiefm | July 20, 2009


I received a notification this morning by sms and email that my Home Library registration was going to expire soon and needed renewal.

So i went online to Bizfile to do the renewal.  Somewhere along the way, I entered the wrong payment details and asked to cancel the transaction.  They forced me off the page and said I should try again.  When I did, they said I had a transaction in progress and that I couldn’t try again till I had settled that one.  But I couldn’t complete that one because they had already thrown me out!  *faint*  Just going round and round and round and round. 

So here I am, an hour after I started, still unable to do anything with it.  It says I should wait 30 mins before re-trying, which I have done … twice.

Like the whole circular thing with the registration renewal, I have had a very “round and round” day.  Today has NOT been a good day, and try as I might, I cannot seem to get out of it. 

For some reason, and I really can’t put my finger on it, I have been a grumpy mummy.  I think it started yesterday when we had a super late night at my brother’s place, having stayed to watch Jim Carey’s Yes Man till the end after dinner.

I tried to start well.  The two older ones wanted to help bathe Daniel so they hovered around in the bathroom and we had a laugh or two when he threw up all his milk into the bathwater just as he was done and had to have a second bath.  But then it went downhill.  Everything irritated me.  They were too slow to have their breakfast, my printer was giving me problems, Daniel started to cry uncontrollably (he always cries uncontrollably) when I was on the phone with the Samsung technician, Alethea wanted to ask me a question while I was STILL on the phone with the technician, I looked around at the messy dining table which I had promised myself I would clear last week, and at my increasingly messy kitchen serving ledge which is right in front of my computer and gets piled up with lots of knick-knacks, and then the whole thing about the company registration renewal … I didn’t feel like I could start the day by reading the Bible in this state. 

Each little thing was … well … a little thing.  But for some reason it got me down.  I tried to pick myself up again but just like the Bizfile system, I kept failing.

Finally I sent TC an sms telling him about it.  Told him I needed a break.  I needed a RENEWAL myself!

It has been too long since I had time to myself.  I don’t feel this way very often at all, but when I do, it upsets me, because I think I’m being selfish when I want time alone.  I’m supposed to enjoy motherhood and all its challenges right?  I’m supposed to die to self, to make sacrifices for the family right?  But today I just want some time for me.

Do you feel that way too?  I don’t think it’s just me.  I hope it’s not just me.  🙂

Well anyway, TC and I had this long discussion via sms and in the end he surprised me by coming home during his lunch hour to take me out to lunch!  Now THAT was some renewal!  And afterwards I had a nice long nap with Daniel.

Now THAT’s renewal!  So what do YOU do when you need renewal?


  1. So we should marry TC, too? 😛

  2. I’ll add my name to the list of grumpy mummies. 😦

    I’m glad that your dh was in tune with your needs. Thank God for understanding hubbies!

  3. Have this feeling way too often!! Sadly, hubby’s job is such that I cannot expect him to surprise me with a lunch outing, haha. And I’m not the sort who can recover easily…….so I know what you mean about going downhill. By God’s grace, he renews my spirit when I am desperate enough to call on Him. And it is only by His grace than I can (barely) plod on and remain faithful to my duties (including being patient with the kids) even when there is a whole backlog of issues/things to be sorted out.

  4. This may seem odd, but sometimes writing is a source of renewal for me. Perhaps it is for you, too, since you’ve written 2 new posts in the last 24 hrs :). It helps me clarify what’s going on at a deeper level, make connections, and get whatever it is off my chest. I don’t have much time alone, either and I only half the number of kids you have! Thanks for your transparency.

  5. The way you are going, makes my jaw drop. The fact that you only mentioned the need for renewal this once so far make my jaw dropped lower! I think I have it half as easy as compared to you, but my need for renewal is constant! I nap every day at least an hour or 2 and I schedule my kid’s nap together so I can rest. Then every now and then, my body will ache and I will go for massage, or facial. Recently my hubby and I are finally sitting down and writing Family goals . One of which is a twice monthly date nights for ONLY the both of us – no kids & twice yearly family retreats. That’s about all for renewal.

  6. Without renewal or time alone, I find myself going downhill, too. I’ve been terribly impatient with my 5 year old today. 😦

    I find blogging/writing helps a great deal but then again, I need to find the time to write! Singing hymms, praises and songs helps, too! And of course, bringing the kids outdoor! Just looking at nature helps a great deal while the kids roam free! And something I really like to do – kickboxing! Feels great after that!

    Maybe try some exercise? 🙂

    I’m sure after your lovely lunch and nap, you are feeling much better. We do need a break from our routine once in a while. 🙂

  7. Nap, did I hear NAP??!!! Precious commodity. Oh, I’d rather much time ALONE.

    BTW, my biz renewal is auto by GIRO. So happens bc it was all done way before the days of the availability of “Payment ONLINE” by our govt departments.

  8. Hi Angie.. it’s Devi, your Indonesian ‘FIAR’ customer 🙂
    You remind me of this song:

    Time of refreshing here in Your presence
    No greater blessing than being with You
    my soul is restored, my mind is renewed
    there’s no greater joy Lord than being with You

    I should say that you’ve been blessed by an understanding hubby. There are things we can not control. So, cheer up girlfriend!
    God is good for you, Angie. May His spirit falls afresh on you.

  9. Well, I had this on and off for 2 weeks awhile ago – place too messy with boxes, toys, books, etc; laptop kept crashing. Just don’t have the right feeling – hubby can feel the vibes everywhere in the house. Only now, do I feel right – after starting my blog, engaging the boys & a neater house. For me, hugs help lots for me ’cause it reminds me what matters most to me.

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